laura. 18. philadelphia. senior. insane. non-driver. alcoholic. that is all.
someone got new shoes for valentines day and i started crying because im so jealous. well thats normal.
JUST TOOK A PERCOCET AND NOW IM STARTING TO GET ITCHY WHICH MEANS IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR I’LL BE DEAD ASLEEP. OOOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGG I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. I JUST WANNA SLEEP FOR A MONTH. I JUST WANT TO NEVER WAKE UP.
i have a pounding headache.
my eyes are so dry.
my ears hurt and are itchy.
i cant stop yawning.
my mouth is so dry too.
im so thirsty.
my throat is on fire.
my neck is so tight.
the pains going down my arm. again.
my backs aching.
i have to stay up till 11 to wake martin up. forgot im his mother.
my phone charger is not working because its a miserable bastard.
i have like 2 quizzes tomorrow that i didn’t study for but i never study anyway.
MY EYES ARE NOW WATERING. LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON.
mikes sleeping so i cant bitch to him.
thank goodness for tumblr.
#thanks tumblr #bitchin'
You feel worn out, physically and mentally. Recently the going has been tough and it looks as if there is still a considerable way for you to go before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If only you could put a protecting wall around yourself and cut yourself off from the rest of the world - be it even for only a little while - how wonderful it would be, but you can’t - so you need to bear with it. Just when everything will seem at its lowest ebb you will find that there is a turnabout and your problems will seem to find a way of resolving themselves.
You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.
At times one is burdened with more than one’s fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.
You are worn out and lack both physical and mental energy. This lack of vitality has created an intolerance for any further excitement and you feel that you just cannot carry on; but you have been like that many times before and the situation passed. You again need to get away from it all - even if it is only for a little while. A relaxed body cannot contain a destructive emotion and the secret for you is to just relax.
i firmly believe that no one in this house particularly likes my presence. i think they would all prefer if i was non-existent. direct quote from my mother to my stepfather “after june, we’re done. she’s on her own” ok. thank you for that one sheila.
when did everyone stop caring about me? i could have sworn..
i changed my url cause mommy keeps talking about where she grew up and its called stranagalwilly. i cannot stop laughing at her.
i wonder what would happen if i told mrs. sawick to take her stupid fucking project and shove it up her ass.
maybe if i say it in irish she won’t understand me so i cant get in trouble. hm. thats a good option.
so i hung out with him friday night. we went to see a movie. i didnt even kiss him and it was the cutest night. then last night i picked him up again. we just drove around and stalked people. i kissed him maybe once. but i held his hand for 99% of the night. again, precious night. so then i get home and he texts me and tells me he wants to call me. i said no cause i was tired but asked what he wanted to talk about. ..
M-i want to be your boyfriend and i want you to be my girlfriend but i know how weird this is with sean and everything so i just wanted to know if you wanted that as well. Unlike what happened with leah, i’ll wait for you to be ready
L-i dont want you to think i dont care about you because i really do but i dont know if i can commit to you yet. i gotta get used to it first. the last thing i wanna do is hurt you. just gimme a while?
wtf. he makes me the happiest i’ve been in probably over two years. and i fucked it up. he said he’ll wait, but i dont know how long im gonna take. i cant decide what i want. when i said this to him he said..
“well obviously im biased hahah but just know i understand how you feel i think. 1. you love the guy still and don’t want him to think you forgot about him 2. even though i know you’re not shallow and dont care what others think, you still dont want it to seem like you forgot about him to others.”
i told him i didnt want to hurt him. personally, this answer made me cry.
“laura, im a big boy. plus we all run the risk of getting hurt. if im gonna get hurt, i’d want it to be by you. i’ll take the risk, its completely worth it.”
on 11/11/11 at 11:11 my wish was that sean would take care of me. i think this is it. i think i just need to go with it. he’s good to me. he’s what i need. its still too soon. jesus christ. i took “tossing and turning” to a new level last night.
why did mike tell me to come outside so we could kiss in the rain like the notebook. first off why is he adorable. second, why did he see the notebook?
People who think depression is a choice, take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not have the emotional strength to face people? To believe time is just passing by with no real reason? To feel utterly alone even when you are sitting in a room full of people? To have to put on a smiling face and hide your feelings because in your mind you know no one would care anyway? To lose friends because you can’t find the strength to go out, and you can’t physically be ‘happy’? To cry yourself to sleep, hoping you wouldn’t wake up - then when you do, you are exhausted from the night before, and it all starts again? You try to hide your feelings hoping no one will notice.
just made this my facebook status. way to describe my exact mood right now.
why am i happy right now. im never genuinely happy. im happy. wtf. h. a. p. p. y. still not used to this.
